Last week, I found myself in a familiar spiral: endless scrolling, notification anxiety, and a growing sense of mental clutter. My phone became less a tool and more a tyrant, dictating my attention and stealing my peace.

The endless scroll. The notification ping. The constant digital noise. Sound familiar? In a world where technology threatens to consume our attention through making us addicted to dopamine, we should recognize the presence of an issue and take control.

Epictetus put it perfectly: “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about what is beyond the power of our will.  It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” (Enchiridion, 1)

The core Stoic principle is simple yet profound: we cannot control external events, but we can always control our reaction to them. This is especially true in our digital lives.

Social media, notifications, online content – these are external. Your response? Entirely within your power.

Transforming your view of social media

Seneca noted: “We are often more frightened than hurt; and we suffer more in imagination than in reality.” (Letters from a Stoic, Letter XIII)

Applied to this context we should recognize that what we see on social media, 9 times out of 10, is not real. People only show the elements of their lives that they wish you to see. The clean bits. The fun bits. The good bits.

We allow ourselves to believe that what we see is other peoples real experience, yet its an untruth. We allow ourselves to believe the imagined reality that others post online, and by doing so, we allow ourselves to suffer through comparing ourselves to a fake.

We believe that others must have more friends, more money, a better life. It is simply untrue.

Once we realize this, we can however make positive changes.

Social media, when utilized wisely and with intention, can allow us to access a wide range of content that can provide us the opportunity for personal growth.

The concept of Digital Minimalism is particularly interesting, and Cal Newport has written an excellent book on the subject. What I took away from that book, is below.

Purposeful Digital Engagement

We can use social media to benefit and not harm us, and I believe this requires two key strategies to be followed:

1. Intentional Connection
   • Choose digital interactions that align with your values.
   • Unfollow sources that drain your energy
   • Curate a feed that motivates and educates – train your algorithm to serve you through liking strategically
2. Mindful Consumption
   • Set clear boundaries for online time
   • Use technology as a tool for personal development
   • Practice digital detox – when something no longer serves, get rid of it.

The goal isn’t to abandon technology, but to control our relationship with it. I don’t believe that for most of us, a complete rejection of social media will serve us.

But it is true that many of us have an unhealthy relationship with it. We can, and should, change this.